Heaven

Dear Everyone!

I think for most of us, our holidays haven't reached the half-way mark, and yet I find myself truly missing you, and truly missing Grey Matters. It can't be said in words how much the friendships I've found in you have caused me to love and to hope. All I can really is "thank you" - and that's saying too much and too little all at once! I hope next year will favour us again in the same way... or perhaps it will choose to favour us in a different way. Hopefully we'll be experiencing it together.

Have a blessed Christmas.

And then, in celebration of the wonderful way I feel, I'd like you invite you all to read my own blog entry "Heaven". And, as always, feel free to comment!

Much Love
Erin

Grys máák saak ...

So ʼn tydjie terug het ek besef hoe belangrik die grys dele van die lewe is.  Ek was siek en sat vir cliché antwoorde wat my vrae versmoor en het begin smag na ʼn plek waar almal net kan erken die lewe is grys en klaar!  Swart en wit is so laas jaar en blykbaar is grys in elkgeval die nuwe pienk.  Die lewe is ʼn mengelmoes en als is subjektief.  Wat nog gepraat van God!  In hierdie nuwe besef wou ek vir ʼn tydjie rus, ver weg van al die klaviersleutels en skaakborde daar buite.

Dis toe dat ek ʼn groep mense ontmoet wat daarop uit is om juis díe ‘grysheid’ van die lewe te vier.  Grey Matters noem hul hulself en sê daardeur dat jy maar jou grysstof (grey matter) kan gebruik om eerlike vrae oor God en die lewe te opper.  Hulle sê: “grys maak saak” (grey matters), en kom daarom rondom die gryserige sake (grey matters) van die lewe byeen wat ons gewoonlike vermy.  Met my nuwe grys fetish kon ek nie wag om by hulle aan te sluit nie.

Groot was my teleurstelling egter toe ek een aand daar opdaag.  In plaas van grys word ek deur ʼn hele reënboog kleure ontmoet.  Die byeenkoms was een waarin mense eerlik met hulle eie oortuigings kon omgaan en by mekaar kon leer.  Die plek het oorgeborrel met kreatiwiteit en daar was iets vir elke sintuig.  Waar ek my net in my eie melankolie wou verlekker, was ek uitgenooi om nuwe ruimtes vir lewe te ontdek.  Vir ʼn postmoderne denker soos myself was dit net te erg.  Hulle het duidelik nog nie die volle omvang van die grysheid gesnap nie!  Hulle ontmoet blykbaar steeds al om die ander Donderdag-aand in die Hofmeyrsaal, maar jy sal my nie weer daar sien nie.

Gegroet met ʼn gry(n)slag,

Vaaljapie

(Hierdie bydrae het oorspronklik in die Stellenbosch Moederkerk gemeenteblad (2011) verskyn)

Something Small on Daoism

This diagram is known as the Tai Chi Tu, which is used in Daoist philosophy to conceptualise the flow of energy in the world. The black is referred to as Yin, which represents associations like "dark", "cold", "female", "negative" and "latent". The white is referred to as Yang, which represents associations like "light", "warmth", "male", "positive" and "active". It is a common mistake of westerners to make the jump and assume that Yin is evil and Yang is good. This kind of thinking should be avoided. It is very important in Daoist philosophy that there is no ultimate truth in concepts like "good" or "evil": while it is acknowledged that concepts such as good and evil do exist, they are social constructs that have been invented by society to regulate the behaviour of its "unenlightened" members.

Because Daoists do not believe that good and evil exist as universal truths, they do not believe in notions of "heaven" or "hell", in which an external, supreme being punishes the evil for their misbehaviour and blesses the good according to their benevolence. Some would call this a recipe for anarchy: If there is no punishment for evil deeds, it might be easier to do bad; if there is no one to reward good behaviour, the motivation for being good might not be quite so strong. Yet, the model Daoist lives in such harmony with his surroundings that we must re-examine what's at play here.

The ideas of Yin and Yang can help to clarify. The Tai Chi Tu itself has a kind "dynamic" quality: it looks as though the black and white sections of the diagram are in motion. This is because Yin and Yang are conceived of as transitory forms of energy. They are thought of as continuously changing into one another. As soon as energy is transformed into Yin, it no sooner becomes Yang and so forth. This speaks to us of the fleeting nature of life and the world: no sooner has something that we find pleasurable occurred before we are subjected to some sort of suffering. Westerners tend to want to avoid suffering. We see it as some kind of punishment (fair or unfair) that a cunning or rich individual can try (and maybe succeed) to avoid. We live for the "good times", indulging ourselves in them as something we deserve and resenting moments or periods of suffering.

Daoism, through concepts of Yin and Yang, will teach us that neither the periods of abundance nor the periods of suffering can be avoided, thus it is pointless to resist either. Moreover, it teaches that a person cannot know happiness until he has known sadness, cannot know abundance until he has known lack - even the extent to which we are able to realise our abundance or want depends on the extent to which we have experienced its counterpart: someone who has known only a little sadness is not able to recognise happiness that is any more extreme than the sadness he has expreienced. Thus Daoists do not couple up resentment with suffering and euforia with thriving in the sense that these two states are opposites. Instead, they see the one as necessarily leading into the other in a neverending cycle. They do not grieve in suffering any more than they rejoice in thriving. Just like Yin cannot exist without Yang, states of suffering and thriving cannot exist without each other. Daoists attempt to endure the times of suffering, knowing that because of the suffering they will have a keener sense for the times of thriving; they attempt to experience the times of plenty without forgetting that the reason they are sensitive to what is "good" is only because they have experienced what is "bad", also remembering that these times of plenty will not last forever, yet will come again.

Finally, (and I know I haven't done this wonderfully complex philosophy any justice), let's consider the little dots of Yin in Yang and Yang in Yin. This represents that neither can exist without the other, as I've explained above. It also conveys that there is always something of the one in the other: always some dark in the light, some light in the dark, some suffering in times of plenty and some rejoicing that's to be done in times of suffering.

We've not even come to the Daoist concept of WuWei, "action without action", which is a major philosophical building block of this way of living, but perhaps this is a topic for another discussion. For now, I can refer anyone who's interested in learning more to the Dao De Jing, which is the book of wisdom for Daoists, written by the famous mythical figure Laozi (pronounced "La-u-tze"). Having studied the original texts in class for a little while, I find it difficult to link you to an internet translation that says it in the way that has been so profoundly meaningful to me. I would advise anyone with enough time to go to an original Chinese version and to use a dictionary to look up all the original meanings of the characters. That way, you might arrive at a translation or understanding that is particularly meaningful to you.

The first line of the Dao De Jing in Chinese is pronounced "Dao ke dao fei chang dao". Literally, "dao" = path, way of thought, manner, even a literal path you follow; "ke" = can; "dao" = to think, to follow, to behave a certain way; "fei" = not; "chang" = original, true. Thus, my own translation to myself is "Any way of thinking or being which can be fully comprehended or followed is not the highest form/ true nature of thinking or being. To me, it acknowledges the utter mystery and complexity of God (=Dao), without directly contradicting itself by then attempting to offer a solution or explanation!

I hope this has been helpful, but if there's anything more that anyone's wondering about, don't hesitate to comment!

Benjamin Zander

Hallo almal!  Liewer laat as nooit, nè!  Toe ek oor my vriend se waardes vir die Grey Matters groep moes nadink, was ek juis pas blootgestel aan Ben Zander se manier van dink, sê en doen.  Ek het 'n DVD van hom gekyk, en toe ook sy "The Art of Possibility" gelees.  Wat my opgeval het in die clips wat ek toe die aand voor die kaggel gewys het, is die manier waarop hy ons aanmoedig om nie die game van "impressing" te speel nie, maar van "contributing".  Sonder om ons met ander te vergelyk, of pretensieus te moet wees, mag ons maar gee wat binne ons is.  Dit gryp my aan, en is ook tipies van my vriend daardie aand - hy is so iemand - onpretensieus, en iemand wat ander mense wil aanmoedig om hulleself te wees en te word.

Wat volg is my kort opsomming van 'n paar "learning points" in Zander se boekie, en dan ook die YouTube links vir die twee clips.  Johan

I was so intrigued by his method and principles, that I embarked on a little journey of my own around Zander’s work.  I found clips on YouTube and also worked through this book “The art of possibility”, and used his principles in quite a few leadership sessions I had to facilitate, and it even surfaced in a few sermons!  I would like to summarize some of the learning points from “The art of possibility” here. 

• Any situation has at least two possible takes on it – the one of hopelessness, and another of hope or possibility.  It’s a matter of perception, which makes all the difference.  Cf a frog’s vision.  A frog can only see clear lines of contrast, sudden changes in illumination, outlines in motion, and curves of outlines of small, dark objects.  It suffices for a frog, in accordance with its needs to eat and to avoid being eaten.  Human perception is obviously much more developed, but still information are being selected, and reality is only partially taken in.  That’s where different perspectives come in.  Two shoe salesmen goe to a country to invest a possible new market.  One writes back, “Situation hopeless, they don’t wear shoes here.”  The other reports, “Send stock, nobody here has shoes yet!”  This would be the self-assessing question:  “What assumption am I making, that I’m not aware I’m making, that gives me what I see?”  After that question has been answered, ask the next one:  “What might I now invent, that I haven’t invent yet, that would give me other choices?”
• Zander recalled dinner-table conversations.  His dad would ask, “What did you do today?”  He new his dad meant, “What did you achieve today?” and it freaked Zander out.  He felt he would never be able to accomplish and therefore impress his father as much as his siblings and he thus grew up with “an undertow of anxiety that lasted into my middle age.”  If that’s the rules of the game, you are set up for a win-lose situation with the fear of failure always lurking in the dark surroundings.  Zander decided to change the game to “I am a contribution”.  Unlike success and failure, contribution has no other side, and it is not arrived at by comparison.  Questions like “Is it enough?” and “Am I loved for who I am, or for what I have accomplished, are replaced by the joyful question, “How will I be a contribution today?” 
• The possibility to change your life in a positive manner is illustrated by Zander in the delightful story of Sarah, an 83-year old lady who rocked up at a speaking engagement in a Jewish old age home, which Zander reluctantly agreed to.  When he got there, only Sarah was there yet, moving to her seat in the fifth row.  Zander asked, “why don’t you move to the front,” to which Sarah replied, “I always sit here!”  Zander jokingly added, “Well if you move today, perhaps something new can happen in your life!”  She grudgingly moved one row forward.  It did become eventually a joyful afternoon of story-telling and singing.  One of the ladies in question time asked in a heavily German accent, “You are ze famous Ben Zander!  Vy do you come and vaste your time on a bunch of old people like us?”  Zander admitted that earlier that day he asked himself the same question, but look what happened since!  He was searching for words, and his gaze fell upon Sarah.  “Take Sarah over here as an example.  When I came here she was sitting in the 5^th row, and now she’s sitting in the 4^th!”  To which Sarah jumped up, through her arms in the air and exclaimed, “You ain’t seen nothing yet, I just got started!”  And everyone applauded, not only for Sarah, but for new beginnings. 
• Zander, an internationally acclaimed conductor of orchestras, once with a shock realized that the only person in an orchestra not making a single sound, is the conductor.  That made him realize something about leadership, namely that leadership is about letting the people around you realize (and realize) their potential. 
• Remember rule number 6:  “Don’t take yourself so goddamn seriously!”  What are the other rules?  There aren’t any!
• Possibility is a kind of language – you can speak “Possibility”.  That would mean being really present to the way things are, but not resigning to it.  It means firstly clearing the “should”, in other words, stop wasting time and energy about the way things should’ve been, and instead realize how things are.  Secondly it means closing the exits of escape, denial and blame, thereby staying with the way things are and the feelings you have on that.  Thirdly you can clear judgements of whether a situation is good or bad, for depending on perspective, it can be good and bad. 
• For Zander passion is everything.  He emphasizes:  1. that you should notice where you are holding back, and let go of those barriers that keep you separate and in control, and let the vital energy of passion surge through you, connecting you to all beyond, and 2. to participate wholly and allow yourself to be a channel to shape the stream of passion into a new expression for the world.  This is where he uses his famous explanation of Chopin’s piece (Prelude op 28 no 4) to illustrate “one-buttock playing” (where the music “takes you there”) and feeling the “long lines” (finding the larger narrative, beyond the detail of everyday living).  Zander calls the decision to go to “one-buttock living” the “Beyond the Fuck-It”.  He got that from a student who realized that living within the box, will never satisfy, and therefore said “Fuck-It” and moved to one-buttock playing!
• Zander makes much of “lighting the spark in other’s lives”.  To him the question is a personal one.  If others don’t live out their passion, he asks himself (e.g. as conductor), “Who am I being, that their eyes aren’t shining?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AH8jms-i30c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LCwI5iErE

Desiderata

This poem has been used in many different contexts and for many different purposes.  Here I hope that it expresses something about respect for one’s self and for everyone and everything around us.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

 

In waansin het ek gevra...

In waansin het ‘k gevra, o God
 vir my die vrede van die ster,
om bo die berge stil te woon,
die wêreld onder dof en ver.

Ek wou U Liggaam sien en gryp,
ek wou die see vang in my net;
ek wou U Mag vang, vang en bind
met die koperkettings van my wet.

Dan wou ek self in glorie troon,
my hof by winde en sterre hou;
ek wou met ewig-stille oë
op U en op U knegskap skou.

Vergeef die wilde dwase bee —
o God, hoe kon ek wyser wees?
Maar, moet U vlam my voorkop kroon,
ek neem die glorie en die vrees!

Vir my nie meer die dwase rus
van mense en van dag en jaar,
vir my die vlamme van U wa,
en oë wat in vertes staar.

Vir my die kruis en doringkroon,
die reise wat geen einde het,
vir my die soek wat nimmer vind,
vir my die sterre sonder wet.

o God, vir my die wilde sin,
die oë wat hul waansin noem,
om wat ondenkbaar is, te dink,
en wat onmoontlik is, begin.

Ek sal ons Wete stukkend skeur
en uitstrooi tussen sterre en maan!
Sal ek met so ’n flenterkleed
U weë, o God, U weë gaan?

So sal ‘k met naakte liggaam stap
die reis van hierdie wonderlewe,
met wonderoë in die lig
wat om my van U wonder bewe.

Daar is één heerlikheid: U sien;
daar is één rus: om U te soek;
om niet te weet – dit is U seën;
en om te vind – dit is U vloek

The Fox Terrier - Now who fits this description?

The Fox Terrier is one of the most curious, intense, and impulsive of the terriers -- indeed of all breeds.

Untiringly active and playful, he has a special passion for ball chasing -- which really helps with exercise -- and he seldom walks when he can run.

The Fox Terrier loves the outdoors but must always be kept on-leash (he is a fast, agile, independent chaser) or in a secure yard, preferably supervised, because his ingenuity and relentless hunting instincts may drive him over or under the fence.

This daredevil with the peppery personality does best with active owners who are firm, confident, consistent leaders. He has a marked stubborn streak, a mischievous sense of humor, and will take clever advantage if indulged.

Fox Terriers are scrappy and fearless with other animals. They won't back down if challenged, and they may do much of the challenging themselves.

They have a high prey drive and extremely quick reflexes, so little creatures that run won't get far.

This breed has keen vision and acute hearing and can be counted on to sound the alert when anything is amiss -- sometimes even when nothing is amiss, but might be in the future!

Fox Terriers love to tunnel and dig and can be possessive of their food and cherished toys.

Listening without Prejudice

Hallo almal,

Met die vorige byeenkoms van Grey Matters (23 Mei 2011) het ons die waardes wat ons laas in ons groepies bespreek het voorgelê aan die groter groep in die vorm van poësie, aanhalings, films, ens. Hierdie was almal waardes wat ons sou wou hê die groep moes uitleef. Ek en Gert het laas gesels, en die waarde wat hy sou wou hê die groep moes uitleef is net om te kan luister na mekaar sonder dat ons vooroordele die luisterproses beïnvloed, d.w.s. “listen without prejudice”.

Vir my was daar drie aanhalings wat my spesifiek gehelp het om te verwoord presies wat dit vir ons beteken in die groep:

“Democratic forms of government are vulnerable to mass prejudice, the so-called tyranny of the majority” (Maggie Gallaher)

“The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.” (Ralph W. Sockman)

“Our thoughts are unseen hands shaping the people we meet. Whatever we truly think them to be, that’s what they’ll become for us.” (Richard Cowper)

Die eerste twee aanhalings het vir my gegaan oor die tipe vooroordele wat die groter meerderheid in die groep algemeen sal voorkom. Terwyl nie almal in die groep in die NG tradisie grootgeword het nie sal die groter meerderheid van ons se vooroordele wel die invloed van ʼn NG “opvoeding” toon. In daardie lig het ek die toepassing van die aanhalings op ons as groep interpreteer as volg – omdat meeste van ons in die NG kerk grootgeword het en die vooroordele van dié instansie geërf het, besit ons die “mass prejudice … the tyranny of the majority”. Dus sal ons as ons na mekaar luister moet in ag neem dat net omdat meeste mense in die groep dalk op ʼn sekere manier dink, dit nie die opinie van die minderheid ongeldig maak nie. Boonop sal ons ook soms onder die "tyranny of the majority" kan deurloop, want baie van ons voel juis soms ongemaklik in die kerk omdat ons opinie nie klop met wat ons geleer was in die kerk nie. In daardie opsig sal ons self soms in die minderheid wees. Wanneer ons die vooroordele van die meerderheid deel beleef ons juis die “test of tolerance”, en moet ons respek hê vir die feit dat die persoon wat praat moontlik besig is met die “test of courage”, omdat hul opinie dalk teen ons vooroordele indruis.

Die derde aanhaling beeld die manier uit hoe ons terwyl iemand praat nie werklik besig is om te luister na wat hulle sê nie, omdat ons vooroordele veroorsaak het dat ons dink ons weet klaar wat hulle besig is om te sê. Die uitdaging is dan om ons vooroordele te ignoreer en werklik na hul te luister, anders “whatever we truly think them to be, that’s what they’ll become for us”.

As ʼn visuele uitbeelding van “listening without prejudice”, hier is ʼn voorbeeld van “painting by numbers” wat ek op die internet gevind het.

(Elke blokkie het ʼn nommer wat ooreenstem met een van die kleure in die prentjie, die idee is dan dat jy elke blokkie verf in die ooreenstemmende kleur as die nommer.)

Op die ou end het mens ʼn prentjie wat min of meer so lyk:

Vir my is ons soos die eerste prent wanneer ons na iemand luister – ons probeer om te luister sonder dat ons hul standpunt oordeel of verdraai, maar ons vooroordele is altyd daar soos lyne wat konsepte in bekende kampies wil jaag, en ons probeer konstant alles wat ons hoor inpas binne die lyne van wat ons klaar weet. As ons in ons koppe dink “hondjie” terwyl iemand praat, maar hulle probeer eintlik “panda” sê, gaan ons of dink “Nee, dis ʼn hond, hoe kan hul sê dis ʼn panda?!”, of “Hulle sê ‘hond’, maar eintlik bedoel hulle seker ‘panda’”. Beide interpretasies verhoed ons dan om werklik in te neem wat die persoon sê.

So dis my interpretasie J Ek’s seker daar is alternatiewe!

Groete tot die 2e,

Fran

Food for Thought

During the Easter period, I got to thinking about what the resurection means to Christians these days, what it means to me. I wrote Jesus and His Magic Trick as a reflection on this.

In Grey Matters, I hope to rediscover a lot of my Christianity. This is one issue that I feel has become fossilised in my personal Christianity and which I hope to renew with new meaning and new relevance. Though it is rather controversial, it was written with sincerity, and this is one way in which the death of Jesus become meaningful to me once again. If you have some thoughts, why don't we chat about it?

Much Love
Erin